March 7, /81.
My Dear Osgood—
First & foremost—yes, send me a collection of etiquette books; Mrs. Fairchild’s idea is a mighty good one, I think.
Now here’s my American “rightful Earl of Durham,” a sort of second or third cousin of mine. If you approve my suggestion, send him $10 on account, & charge said $10 to me, of course—but after that, you & him for it. If he writes you anything worth printing you’ll probably take ‸it‸ & pay something for it—otherwise you’ll drop [him. I] think he’ll write you a gassy, extravagant, idiotic book that will be delicious reading, for I’ve read some of his rot; ‸& it is just the sort of windy stuff‸ which a Kentucky tramp who has been choused out of an English earldom would write. By George I believe this ass will write a serious book which would make a cast-iron dog laugh. You take him in hand, now; but mind you make him understand that if he attempts to visit me or write me, you will cut cease from business intercourse with him at once. Dern him, I can’t be bothered with him.
If you approve all this, mail to him the enclosed letter.
I expect settlement-cheque from Bliss about Wednesday or Thursday; & as soon as it comes, I shall forward to you that Cyclopedia-item for the papers—for I haven’t heard anything from Gebbie yet.
I have written Bliss to give me ‸bulk-‸ statements of cost of paper, printing, binding—& shipping-expenses. The statement which he did give me, went but little into particulars—simply: 62,000 sold; $106,000 received; profit, above $64,000; Clemens’s half, $32,000. Cost of cloth copies, (& packing,) 67 cents each. Bliss says you can’t make ’em for 47 cents—nor 50 cents—nor a penny less than 65.
Ys
S L C
Please send me a lot of prepaid envelops with your address printed on them, & charge to
Yrs
S L Clemens
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