To Olivia L. Langdon
15 January 1870 • Utica, N.Y.
(MS: CU-MARK, UCCL 00411)

You dear little rascal, why didn’t you open & read Mrs. Hooker’s letter? Can’t I ever teach you to open & read any letter of mine that you happen to want to read? Especially if it be from a woman. Sometimes men write things to me that would offend my darling’s eyes, & I would be sorry to have her read such—still, I want her to read any letter she chooses. That it is directed to me, gives my Other Self full authority to read it.1

Sweetheart, I am drawing the first thoroughly happy breaths I have enjoyed for some days—for I have been dreadfully harassed, annoyed, chafed & angered—but now, I do wish I could throw my arms about you & revel in the joy of your loved presence! Now I could listen to any proposed curtailment of my vicious pleasaures you might broach, & without any rebellious [chafings. Though ] darling, I never have chafed at you—I have only sorrowed that sins of mine should be visited upon your innocent head. It is so wrong, so uncharitable, so unjust, that you should be made to suffer for [what] I have done—you who never gave any one cause to hurt you.

Even now my pleasure is marred by the thought I have almost surely said things that caused you tears, [in ] my last two feverish letters. But if so, hold no hard feeling against me, Livy dear, for I was not myself.—I could not, in cold blood, say anything to hurt you, in whose love I live, whose love is all that gives life a real zest to me, you who are the world itself, who are all in all to me—[ w ] & who would take with you the sun-shine, & all the glory & beauty of earth & life, if I lost you.

We had a noble house to-night (Oh, it is [bitter, bitter ] cold & blustery!)—the largest of the season, they believe, though they cannot tell till they count the tickets to-morrow.2 And I saw at a glance that it was a house wholly friendly & in sympathy with me; & so, as in Portland, I stood patient & silent, minute after minute, apparently, till my roused good-nature passed from my heart ‸& countenance‸ to theirs along a thousand invisible electrical currents & swept & conquered their reserve, swept their self-possession to the winds, & the house great house “came down” like an avalanche! No man knows better than I, the enormous value of a whole-hearted welcome achieved without a spoken word—and no man will take [ do dare ] more than I to get it. An audience captured in that way, belongs to the speaker, body & soul, for the rest of the evening. Therefore, isn’t it worth the taking some perilous chances on? I enjoyed myself prodigiously for [an ] hour & ten minutes & then dismissed a stormy house. I think I may say it was bully jolly.3

I saw Taylor4 & his wife. Taylor is to call on me in the morning.

All right, honey—I will be there at the reception—will write my sister to hurry up & get there by the 24th or 25th.

God bless & preserve you, darling.

Sam.

I am so glad the Milton5 pleases my idol—I am delighted. Oh, we’ll read, & look at pictures when we are married!

Shall send you Mrs. Hooker’s letter as soon as I have answered it. Give my love warm love to mother & father of ours, & sister Crane.

Miss Olivia L. Langdon | Elmira | N.Y. [return address:] if not delivered within 10 days, to be delivered to [postmarked:] utica n.y. jan 15 [docketed by OLL:] 178th

Explanatory Notes | Textual Commentary

Editorial Signs

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1 Isabella Beecher Hooker’s letter has not been found. A good friend of the Langdons’, she had a somewhat strained acquaintance with Clemens. He had previously urged Olivia to freely read his letters and even proofs (10 Jan 70 to OLL [2nd] ; L3, 135 n. 3, 136, 140–41, 161–64, 172–73).

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2 Clemens was writing after his 14 January Utica lecture, and probably after the usual visit from the lecture committee, so it is likely that the time was after midnight, making the date 15 January, as inscribed.

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3 In Utica Clemens lectured for the Mechanics’ Association. The Utica Observer of 15 January remarked that “from the first appearance of the lecturer upon the stage, to the close of the lecture, the audience were kept in as good humor as they are while reading one of his inimitable sketches,” but it did not comment on Clemens’s “patient & silent” opening (“Mark Twain,” 14 and 15 Jan 70, 3). He must have described a similar opening to his December lecture in Portland, Maine, in a letter to Olivia that is now lost (L3, 479, 485). The Portland reviewers were complimentary, but also said nothing about the opening (“M. L. A.”: Portland Advertiser, 23 Dec 69, 4; Portland Eastern Argus, 23 Dec 69, 3; Portland Press, 23 Dec 69, 3; “The Lecturer,” Portland Transcript, 1 Jan 70, 317).

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4 Ezekiel D. Taylor, Jr., city editor of the Utica Morning Herald, Olivia’s first cousin (“Obituary,” Elmira Advertiser, 17 Feb 72, 4).

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5 See 6 Jan 70 to OLL, n. 2.

Description of Texts and Provenance

Source text(s):

MS, Mark Twain Papers, The Bancroft Library, University of California, Berkeley (CU-MARK).

Previous publication: L4, 27–29; LLMT, 361, brief paraphrase.

Provenance:see Samossoud Collection in Description of Provenance.

Emendations and textual notes:

chafings. Though • chafings.— | Though

in • in in [corrected miswriting; possibly ‘un in’]

w • [partly formed]

bitter, bitter • bitter, bittrer

do dare • doare

an • an an [canceled ‘n’ partly formed]