Elmira, June 4.
Dear Folks—
Livy sends you her love & loving good wishes, & I send you mine. The last 3 chapters of the book came to-night—we shall read it in the morning & then, thank goodness, we are done.
In twelve months (or rather I believe it is fourteen,) I have earned just eighty dollars by my pen—three two little magazine squibs & one newspaper letter—altogether the idlest, laziest 14 months I ever spent in my life.1 And in that time my absolute & necessary expenses have been scorchingly heavy—for I have now less than three thousand six hundred dollars in bank out of the eight or nine thousand I have made during those months, lecturing. My expenses were something frightful during the winter.2 I feel ashamed of my idleness, & yet I have had really no inclination to [do] anything but court Livy. I haven’t any other inclination yet. I have determined not to work as hard traveling, any more, as I did last winter, & so I have resolved not to lecture outside of the 6 New England States next winter. My western course would easily amount to $10,000 next winter, but I would rather make 2 or 3 thousand in New England than submit again to so much wearing travel. {I have promised to talk ten times for nights for a thousand dollars in the State of New York, provided the places are close together.} But after all, if I get located in a newspaper in a way to suit me, in the meantime, I don’t want to lecture at all next winter, & probably shan’t. I most cordially hate the lecture-field. And, after all, I shudder to think I may never get out of it. In all conversations with Gough, & Anna Dickinson, Nasby, Oliver Wendell Holmes, Wendell Phillips & the other old stagers, I could not observe that they ever expected or hoped to get out of the business.3 I don’t want to get wedded to it as they are. Livy thinks we can live on a very moderate sum & that we’ll not need to lecture. I know very well that she can live on a small allowance, but I am not so sure about [myself. I] can’t scare her by reminding her that her father’s family expenses are forty thousand dollars a year,4 because she produces the documents at once to show that precious little of this outlay is on her account. But I must not commence writing about Livy, else I shall never stop. There isn’t such another little piece of perfection in the world as she is.
My time is become so short, now, that I doubt if I get to California this summer. If I manage to buy into a paper, I think I will visit you a while & not go to Cal at all. I shall know something about it after my next trip to Hartford. We all go there on the 10th—the whole family—to attend a wedding., on the 17th.5 I am offered an interest [in] a Cleveland paper which would pay me $2,300 to $2,500 a year, & a salary added of $3,000. The salary is fair enough, but the interest is not large enough, & so I must look a little [further. The] Cleveland folks say they can be induced to do a little better by me, & urge me to come out & talk business. But it don’t strike me—I feel little or no inclination to go.6
I believe I haven’t anything else to write, & it is bed-time. I want to write to Orion, but I keep putting it off—I keep putting everything off. Day after day Livy & I are together all day long & until 10 at night, & then I feel dreadfully sleepy. If Orion will bear with me & forgive me I will square up with him yet. I will even let him kiss Livy.
My love to Mollie & Annie & Sammie & Margaret & all. Good-bye.
Affectionately,
Sam.
I see
[new page:]P.S. I see that the toast I am [ respond ] appointed to respond to at the New York Press Club dinner to-morrow night is, “When I, twain, shall become one flesh—the future husband the husband of the future.” Pretty pointed—& pretty suggestive. But I shan’t be there—& as I am only an invited guest & a sort of honorary member (for I never have joined,) I have used my privilege of proposing my own toast & making my own speech upon it in my own way—& have forwarded the manuscript.7
Explanatory Notes | Textual Commentary
Source text(s):
Previous publication:
L3, 259–261; 1:379, brief excerpt; MTL, 158–59, without postscript; MTBus, 106, postscript only; MTMF, 100, brief excerpts.
Provenance:see McKinney Family Papers, pp. 583–85.
Emendations and textual notes:
myself. I • myself.—|I
further. The • further.—|The
respond • [‘d’ partly formed]