Fire.—About 11 o’clock on Monday forenoon a fire broke out in the two story frame building at 221 St. Clair street, owned and occupied by A. W. Fairbanks, Esq., and before it could be quenched a loss of about $2,500 ensued. The fire was first discovered by a servant girl who started from the kitchen to attend the front door bell. On opening the door which communicated with the hall, she found the room full of smoke, and immediately gave the alarm. The engines were promptly on hand, and by admirable manag[e]ment the flames were quenched in short order. The fire caught immediately under the hall floor, near the furnace flue and just under the stairway leading to the upper story. It was very fortunate that the fire occurred in the day-time, else, it is quite probable, the whole house would have been burned. As it is several of the carpets and much of the furniture is ruined by fire, water, and breakage, and the principal loss results from this. The alarm came from box 14. The loss is fully covered by insurance.

Ladies and gentlemen: I am well aware of the fact that it would be a most gigantic fraud for you to pay a dollar each to hear my lecture. But you pay your dollar to the orphan asylum and have the lecture thrown in! So if it is not worth anything it does not cost you anything! [Laughter.] There is no expense connected with this lecture. Everything is done gratuitously and you have the satisfaction of knowing that all you have paid goes for the benefit of the orphans. I understand that there are to be other entertainments given week after next for the same object, the asylum being several thousand dollars in debt, and I earnestly recommend you all to attend them and not let your benevolence stop with this lecture[.] There will be eating to be done. Go there and eat, and eat, and keep on eating and pay as you go. [Great laughter.] The proprietors of the skating rink have generously offered to donate to the asylum the proceeds of one evening, to the amount of a thousand dollars, and when that evening comes, go and skate. I do not know whether you can all skate or not, but go and try! If you break your necks it will be no matter; it will be to help the orphans.

Don’t be afraid of giving too much to the orphans, for however much you give you have the easiest end of the bargain. Some persons have to take care of those sixty orphans and they have to wash them. [Prolonged laughter.] Orphans have to be washed! And it[’]s no small job either for they have only one wash tub and it’s slow business[!] They can’t wash but one orphan at a time! They have to be washed in the most elaborate detail, and by the time they get through with the sixty, the original orphan has to be washed again. Orphans won’t stay washed! I’ve been an orphan myself for twenty-five years and I know this to be true[.] [Great laughter.] There is a suspicion of impurity and imposition about many ostensibly benevolent enterprises, but there is no taint of reproach upon this for the benefit of these little waifs upon the sea of life and I hope your benevolence will not stop here. In conclusion I thank you for the patience and fortitude with which you have listened to me. (“Mark Twain,” 23 Jan 69, 4)