Va, March 18/64.
(I will not write to Ma, [ bec this ]time, because in a day or two I shall write to her through the columns of the N. Y. Sunday Mercury.)1 I would have mailed finished it to-day, but I took it over to show it to Miss Menken, the actress—[Orpheus ]C. Kerr’s wife—she is a literary cuss herself.2 Although I was acquainted with Orpheus, I didn’t ‸know‸ her from the devil,3 & the other day (I am acting in place of both the chief editors, now, & Dan has the local all to himself,)4 she sent a [ note brief ]note, couched in stately terms & full of frozen dignity, addressed to “Mr Mark Twain,” asking if we would publish a sketch from her pen. Now you ought to have seen my answer—‸(3 pages of “legal [cap.,]”)‸ because I took a good deal of pride in it. It was extravagantly sociable & familiar, but I swear it had humor in it, because I laughed at it myself. It was bad enough as it was when first finished—but I took it out of the envelop & added an extra atrocity. She has a beautiful white hand—but her [handwriting ]is infamous; she writes very fast, but ‸and‸ her letters chirography is of the [doorplate ]order—her letters are immense. I gave her a conundrum—thus: “My Dear Madam—Why ought your hand to retain its present grace & beauty always? Because you fool away devilish little of it on your manuscript.”
I think I can safely say that woman was furious for a few days. But that wasn’t a matter of much consequence to me, & finally she got over it of her own accord, & wrote another note. She is friendly, now.5
Pamela, you wouldn’t do for a local reporter—because [ do you ]don’t appreciate the interest that attaches to names. An item is of no use unless it speaks of some person, & [ then not ]then, unless that person’s name is distinctly mentioned. The most interesting letter one can write, to an absent friend, is one that treats of persons he has been acquainted with, rather than the public events of the day. Now you speak of a young lady who wrote to Hallie Benson that she had seen me, & you didn’t mention her name. It was just a mere chance that I ever guessed who she was—but I did, finally, though I don’t remember her name, now. I was introduced to her in San Francisco by Hon A. B. Paul,6 & saw her afterwards in Gold Hill. They were a very pleasant lot of girls—she & her sisters.
You say “we hear that Sam has grown very fleshy & remarkably broad-shouldered—you must send us a full-length likeness, & let us see the improvement.” I’ll do it—here it is:
[four-line space (about two inches): portrait missing]
I have no confidence in photographic artists, & I drew the picture myself, so that I would know it was correct. I had to borrow the head from a photograph, though—those fellows take heads very well. If this is too broad for Annie’s album, tell her she must paste it on the back of it. I don’t want it lost, because it cost me infinite pains & labor to make it. I [would‸n’t‸ ]have undertaken [such ]a job for anybody but her.7
I also send her full-length pictures of [ Go his ]Excellency Gov. Mark Twain, of the Third House, Hon Wm H. Clagett of the House of Representatives, and Hon. A. J. Simmons, Speaker of the same.8 Ma will know Clagett by his frowsy hair & slovenly dress. He is the greatest ‸ablest‸ public speaker in the Territory.
I can’t send you my Message. It was written to be spoken—[ it to ]write it so that it would read well, would bee too much trouble, & I shall probably never publish it. It was terribly severe on Gov. Nye, too, & since he has conferred on me one of the coveted Notarial appointments (without the formality of a petition from the people,) it would be a mean return to print it now.9 If he [had ]refused the appointment, though, I’d have delivered it in Virginia (I could have got the whole community at a dollar a head,) & published it afterward. You bet you. I got my satisfaction out of it, though—a larger audience than Artemus had10—the satis comfort of knowing that the [ thieving, lousy slow, ‸-going,‸ ratty popul careless ]population of Carson could be induced to fill a house once,—the gratification of [ her hearing ]good judges say it was the best thing of the kind they had ever listened to—& finally, a present of handsome $22500 gold watch, from Theodore Winters & Hon. A. W. Baldwin, inscribed “To Gov. Mark Twain,” &c. &c.11 I am ahead on the Message, anyhow.
Pepper saw Judge Mott, did he? I promised to write to Mott occasionally, & so did Orion, but I guess neither of us have ever done it.12
Remember me kindly to Mr [ P & ]Mrs Pepper, & Zeb & Beck Jolly.
We had a little snow [to-day], & once, 3 months ago, a few [ flas flakes ]fell—but at no time this winter has it been necessary to wear an overcoat. I have no recollection of having seen rain—either here or in California—for I don’t know how long—nearly a year & a half, I suppose. {I went & raised the devil & had the paper started to Moffett & Schr again.13 Tell me if it arrives regularly.
Sam.
(over
Joe Goodman is gone to the Sandwich Islands. I stipulated, when I took his place, that I should never be expected to write editorials about politics or the eastern news. I take no sort of interest in those matters. I wanted to go with Joe, but the news-editor14 was expecting every day to get sick (he has since accomplished it,) & we could not all leave at once.15
Molly & Orion are all right, I guess.16 They would write me if I would answer [there ]letters—but I won’t. It is torture to me to write a letter. And it is still greater torture to receive one—except yours & Ma’s. My correspondents, being industriously neglected, are gradually dropping off, though, & I begin to [ r feel ]really comfortable over the prospect of their drying up entirely. I think Ma inflicts a new correspondent on me every now & then [ (bel (beware ]how you leave this letter where Aunt Ella17 can see it—I haven’t answered her letter of 3 months ago) but she mustn’t scare up any more, male or female, though I am really [thankful ]to her for her intended & well-meant kindness.
Sam
Explanatory Notes | Textual Commentary
Adah Isaacs Menken as Mazeppa, from a contemporary showbill (Lyman, facing 269).
William H. Clagett, Mark Twain, and A. J. Simmons, January 1864, the third Territorial Legislature, Carson City (Lyman, facing 253).
Mr. Goodman went away for a week and left me the post of chief editor. It destroyed me. The first day, I wrote my “leader” in the forenoon. The second day, I had no subject and put it off till the afternoon. The third day I put it off till evening, and then copied an elaborate editorial out of the “American Cyclopedia,” that steadfast friend of the editor, all over the land. The fourth day I “fooled around” till midnight, and then fell back on the Cyclopedia again. The fifth day I cudgeled my brain till midnight, and then kept the press waiting while I penned some bitter personalities on six different people. The sixth day I labored in anguish till far into the night and brought forth—nothing. The paper went to press without an editorial. The seventh day I resigned. On the eighth, Mr. Goodman returned and found six duels on his hands—my personalities had borne fruit.
In fact, Goodman was away until 8 April (“Arrivals Yesterday,” Virginia City Union, 9 Apr 64, 3). There is no indication that he faced any challenges as a result of Clemens’s temporary editorship.
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Previous publication:
L1, 273–280; MTB, 1:248, brief excerpts; MTL, 1:89, a single paragraph, ‘Pamela . . . sisters.’
(274.20–30), mistakenly printed as part of 11 and 12 Apr 63 to
Jane Clemens and Pamela Moffett. The excerpts printed in MTB and MTL do not overlap. They were in separate collections when Paine saw
them, and he evidently did not realize they were parts of the same
letter.
Provenance:
see Moffett Collection, p. 462, and McKinney Family Papers, pp.
459–61.
Emendations and textual notes:
Mot Sister • [‘Sis’ over ‘Mot’]
bec this • [‘th’ over ‘bec’]
Orpheus • Oprpheus [‘r’ over ‘p’]
note brief • [‘brief’ over ‘note’]
cap., • [comma over period]
handwriting • hand-|writing
door-|plate • door-plate
do you • [‘yo’ over ‘do’]
then not • [‘not’ over ‘then’]
would ‸n’t‸ • [‘n’t’ squeezed in at end of line, probably inserted]
such • such such
Go his • [‘his’ over ‘Go’]
it to • [‘to’ over ‘it’]
had • haidd [possibly ‘haadd’; ‘d’ over ‘id’ or possibly ‘ad’]
thieving, lousy slow, ‸-going,‸ ratty popul careless • thieving, slow, - | ‸going,‸ lousy ratty popul careless [originally ‘thieving, |lousy’; ‘slow,’ over ‘thieving,’ and ‘ratty’ over ‘lousy’; ‘popul’ added, making ‘slow, |ratty popul’; hyphen over comma after ‘slow’ and ‘going, careless’ over ‘ratty popul’ to make ‘slow-going, careless’]
her hearing • heraring [‘a’ over ‘r’]
P & • [‘&’ over possible ‘P’]
to-day • to-|day
flas flakes • flaskes [‘k’ over ‘s’]
there • [sic]
r feel • [‘f’ over ‘r’]
(bel (beware • (belware [‘w’ over ‘l’]
thankful • thnankful [‘a’ over ‘n’]