To
Lucius Fairchild
14 June 1879 • Paris, France
(MS facsimile: Clemens 1932, pp. 45–46, UCCL 01669)
Saturday—
My Dear General—
Enclosed please find wages of sin amounting to 40 fr. Go, & transgress no more. My scouts report that the balloon will not begin her passenger trips until Monday. I was getting afraid they would fill my order for tickets on Sunday [.] I preferred to draw the line for Sabbath-outrages at horse-racing. I imagined a conversation like this—& it made me shudder.
St. Peter. How did you come?
You & I. By balloon, your Reverence.
St. Peter. When did you leave?
I know my weakness; I should be sure to say, “Early Saturday morning, your Reverence.” Then the verdict would be fatal: “Guilty of ballooning on the Sabbath—in questionable company—& then lying about it.”
Detain Mrs. Deane, & let’s try it Monday, for instance.
Ys Truly,
S. L. Clemens
Source text(s):Provenance:In 1932, the letter was owned by Mrs. C. M. Morris, daughter of General Lucius Fairchild.
