July 26
Dear Bro—
All right. I enclose the $82. I am getting close run for money, as my income does not begin again until the middle of August.1
One item in your account strikes me curiously—“pew rent.” You might as well borrow money to sport diamonds with. I am willing to lend you money to procure the needs of life, but not to procure to ‸so‸ useless a luxury as a church pew. It would much better become a man to remain away from church than borrow money to hire a pew with. The principle of this thing is what I am complaining of—not the amount of money.2
All hands well. We are expecting to leave for Newport on Saturday. My love to Mollie & thank her for her interesting letter, which I purpose answering soon.3
Sam.
Orion Clemens, Esq
Keokuk
Iowa [return address:] if not delivered within 10 days, to be returned
to
[postmarked:] hartford conn. jul 27 6pm
Explanatory Notes | Textual Commentary
made a detailed monthly report to me, whereby it
appeared that he was able to work off his chickens on the Keokuk
people at a dollar and a quarter a pair. But it also appeared
that it cost a dollar and sixty cents to raise the pair. This
did not seem to discourage Orion, and so I let it go. Meantime
he was borrowing a hundred dollars per month of me regularly,
month by month. Now to show Orion’s stern
& rigid business ways—and he really prided
himself on his large business capacities—the moment
he received the advance of a hundred dollars at the beginning of
each month, he sent me his note for the amount, and with it he
sent, out of that money, three
months’ interest on the hundred dollars at
six per cent. per annum, these notes being always for three
months. I did not keep them, of course. They were of no value to
anybody. As I say, he always sent a detailed
statement of the month’s profit and loss on the
chickens—at least the month’s loss on the
chickens—and this detailed statement included the
various items of expense—corn for the chickens, a
bonnet for the wife, boots for himself, and so on; even car
fares, and the weekly contribution of ten cents to help out the
missionaries who were trying to damn the Chinese after a plan
not satisfactory to those people. But at last when among those
details I found twenty-five dollars for pew rent I struck. I
told him to change his religion and sell the pew. (AD, 5 Apr 1906, CU-MARK, in MTA, 2:324–25)
Source text(s):
Previous publication:
L6, 519–520.
Provenance:see Mark Twain Papers in Description of Provenance.
Emendations and textual notes:
Yrs Bro • [‘B’ written over ‘s’ to cancel it]