Samℓ. L. Clemens
Mark Twain.
To
Donn Piatt
27 March 1871 • Elmira, N.Y.
(Transcript and paraphrase: Benjamin 1947, item A 1438, 00596)
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[j. langdon
office of j. langdon & co. miners and dealers in
j. d. f. slee,anthracite and bituminous coals. 6 baldwin st.
t. w. crane,
c. j. langdon.elmira, n.y., Mar. 27
] 187 1.
. . . .
If my letter should make trouble between you & Church & you should divulge to him that opinion of mine (a thing which you have every right to do, since it was no secret,) might he not sue me for damages? If he would only try to whip me, I wouldn’t mind it, but a libel suit . . . Lord bless me! [paraphrase: He therefore suggests that Piatt keep [Clemens’s ] opinions] rather in the background . . . unless you feel that it is really necessary to use them in your own defence. [paraphrase: Clemens had been connected with the Galaxy, and Church owed him] about 3 months back pay.1
. . . .
Explanatory Notes | Textual Commentary
The April issue of the Galaxy carried Mark Twain’s final
“Memoranda.” It also announced Piatt’s new department, which by May was titled “The
Galaxy Club-Room,” and called for additional contributors. Piatt negotiated an annual salary of five thousand dollars,
three thousand more than Clemens had received (“As Mark Twain . . .
,” 11:618; “Personal,” Buffalo Courier, 8 May 71, 1). In his first column he
acknowledged his predecessor as follows: I suppose that Mark Twain, our greatest humorist, could have written twice twelve articles of the most charming
character had he been left to himself in their production. I never knew a man who had such a propensity to look upon the ludicrous
side of things, and such an unlimited supply of grotesque fun; but the fact that a department had been assigned to him in a
magazine, and a world advertised in advance that once a month a certain amount of wit and humor would be forthcoming, ended by
paralyzing his hand and drying up all his prolific sources of entertainment. . . . Now with this
fact before me, I wish it clearly understood that I am only the presiding officer of this Galaxy Club Room, and not, as was Mark before me, the author of a department. If, in the
thirty days preceding the printing, I can gather up from other brains enough to make these pages entertaining, my efforts will be a
success; otherwise they will be a failure. (Piatt 1871, 752) Before the end of May, Clemens contributed a single-page manuscript, which Piatt edited and published, unsigned and
unattributed, as “to a correspondent” in the July “Club-Room.”
The manuscript reads: Answers to Correspondents:
Agricultural Inquirer.—No, you are wrong. The sand is not put in a
chicken’s craw for the purpose you name. Why do you continue to grope along in agricultural darkness &
ignorance? Why do not you read authorities, & inform yourself. A glance at Mr. Greeley’s great work on What he
Knows a
About Farming would have taught you that the sand is put in the chicken’s craw for
ballast.
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Piatt had been asked by William and Francis Church to edit a department in the Galaxy to replace Mark
Twain’s “Memoranda.” At this time he was negotiating his salary, and had evidently asked Clemens
about his experiences with the Churches. Clemens had replied with a (now missing) letter, frankly venting his irritation with them.
He had second thoughts, however, and wrote the present letter, to which Piatt responded the next day (CU-MARK):
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}
Source text(s):Transcript and paraphrase, Benjamin 1947, item A 1438. The catalog
describes the MS as ‘A.L.S., 4pp., large 4to, “Office of J. Langdon & Co . . .
Elmira, N. Y.” (letterhead of his father-in-law), Mar. 27, 1871.’
Previous publication:
L4, 369–71; McElderry, xiv, excerpt, in addition to the
copy-text.
Emendations and textual notes:
j. langdon . . . Mar. 27 187 1. • [text of letterhead adopted in part from 28 Sept 71 to Lant; date reported, not quoted]
Clemens’s • his
