To
John McComb
6? February 1870 • Buffalo, N.Y.
(Paraphrase and transcript: San Francisco
Alta California, 14 Feb 70, UCCL 00420)
“MARK TWAIN” MARRIED AND SETTLED.
———
By the last mail we received a delicate pink envelope containing still more delicate cards of a still more delicate pink, one bearing the words, “Mr. and Mrs. S. L. Clemens, Delaware Avenue,” and the other, “Olivia L. Langdon,”1 and a note announcing the marriage on the 3d of February, in New York. So Mark and Miss Langdon have been made “Twain” according to the statute in such cases made and provided, and his host of friends will wish him joy at his good fortune, for the lady is spoken of as being beautiful, accomplished and amiable. And Mark has prospered financially, for his book yields him a handsome income, and his lecturing receipts should make happy any ordinary mortal.
It seems Mark’s father-in-law played an elaborate practical joke on him on the night of the wedding. The bridegroom, being busy with his lectures, and not readily finding a house for sale that suited his purse and taste, instructed Mr. Langdon’s agent in Buffalo to secure him rooms and board in some nice family, where there would be but few other boarders; and though the commission was executed, Mark could not learn the name of the family or the street where they lived; and he privately determined to caution his father-in-law, as soon as admitted into the family, against continuing such a stupid agent in the management of his business. Finally, a dozen particular friends escorted the bridal party from Elmira to Buffalo, in a palace car, and on arriving proposed to call on the newly-married pair in the morning. By some more stupidity on the part of the agent the bride and groom were the last to leave the car, on account of the carriages being blocked in, and when Mark reached his “boarding [house,” ] he found all his friends waiting for him in a magnificent mansion, ($40,000) elegantly furnished, stable, coach, horses, liveries for servants, check on the bank for a handsome amount—and all a present from the father-in-law.2 He said it only needed a drop curtain and a prompter to place the characters in position to make it like a scene in a sensation drama. In his letter he says: “I have read those absurd fairy tales in my time, but I never, never, never, expected to be the hero of a romance in real life as unlooked-for [& ] unexpected as the wildest of [them.” ] In the postscript to his letter he says: “In the good old-fashioned fairy tale, the hero would infallibly happen to notice an opal hued mother-of-pearl box on the centre-table, & would heedlessly open it & find [in ] it a deed for all the newly acquired property. But, bless you, I never have had any experience in playing hero in a tale, & so no matter who shoved that box toward me, or hinted darkly at [its ] contents, my calm, unruffled stupidity was victorious every time, & at last they had to shove the box under my nose in the most unromantic way, & open it & display the deed & insurance papers. All hands laughed at & abused me, but I told them it was all so new to me—tackle me again with another house, & see how I would sail through my part. The check on the bank, accompanying the gift, was not necessary, for my book & lecturing keep me equal to minor emergencies!”3
Explanatory Notes | Textual Commentary
Source text(s):Previous publication:
L4, 60–61; LLMT, 142, excerpt, addressee misidentified as William Wright.
Emendations and textual notes:
house,” • house,’‸
& • and [also at 61.5, 6, 8, 9, 11 (three times), 12, 13, 14]
them.” • them.‸
in • [not in]
its • it
[on . . .
lc
•
[adopted from
envelope of 6? Feb 70 to Stoddard]
