To Hiram J. Ramsdell
23 November 1869 • Boston, Mass.
(Transcript and paraphrase: Charles Hamilton 1964, lot 32, UCCL 00376)
(SUPERSEDED)

[Boston, Nov. 23, 1869.]

[Dear Ramsdell—]

[paraphrase: Mark Twain explains that his lecture agent, Redpath, opens most of his letters, thus creating discrepancies.] Confound it, I would a heap rather have lectured for the boys, of course—have always been laying for a chance to do it ... my lecture list hasn’t a single unoccupied night in it—therefore, you old rip, how can your servant lecture for the boys? 1... But you better not write me down, you freebooters, & you better not tear down my bills, either, unless you want to stand a small trial for incest, or arson, or whatever the technical term for such a crime may be. Go slow!

No, my boy, write me up—that is the way to achieve the affection & reverence of your country. Protect my bills (pay them, for instance,) & uphold mine honor & my reputation. That is the way to bring down your gray hairs with satisfaction to the grave ...

[Thine ever,

Samℓ. L. Clemens. ]

Explanatory Notes | Textual Commentary

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1 Hiram J. Ramsdell (1839–87)—Washington correspondent for the New York Tribune and the Cincinnati Commercial and one of the newspapermen Clemens had known in the capital in the winter of 1867–68—evidently had requested a lecture before the Washington Correspondents’ Club. Founded in 1867 “for the cultivation of fraternal sentiment,” the club had as its chief function “an annual dinner where their friends were entertained” (Bryan, 2:586). Clemens had spoken in response to a toast at the first such dinner, in January 1868, but had not kept a promise to give a benefit lecture for the club around that time (see L2, 130, 131–32 n. 5, 155–58, 196 n. 1). His current tour included an 8 December lecture in Washington, in the Grand Army of the Republic Course (“Death of Mr. Ramsdell,” Washington Critic, 26 May 87, 1; Congressional Globe 1871, 2:847, 848).

Description of Texts and Provenance

Source text(s):

Transcript and paraphrase, Charles Hamilton, lot 32.

Previous publication: L3, 402–403; none known other than the copy-text.

Provenance:The MS was sold at auction by Charles Hamilton Autographs in 1964; its present location is not known.

Emendations and textual notes:

Boston, Nov. 23, 1869. • [reported, not quoted; the month is spelled out in the usual catalog style]

Dear Ramsdell— • To “Dear Ramsdell.”

Thine ... Samℓ. L. Clemens. • The letter concludes with a flourishing, “Thine ever, Saml. L. Clemens.”