To Olivia L. Clemens
15 November 1871 • Haverhill, Mass.
(MS: CU-MARK, UCCL 00674)

Haverhill, —

Livy darling, it was a dreadfully stormy night, the train was delayed a while, & when I got to the hall it was half an hour after the time for the lecture to begin. But not a soul had left the house. I went right on through the audience in my overcoat & overshoes with carpet bag in hand & undressed on the stage in full view. It was no time to stand on ceremony. I told them I knew they were indignant with me, & righteously so—& that if any aggrieved gentleman would rise in his place & abuse me for 15 minutes, I would feel better, would take it as a great kindness, & would do as much for him some time. That broke the ice & we went through with colors flying & drums beating.1

You sent the “Not a stage trick” (for which I am greatly obliged to Warner—it was copied in the Boston papers,)2 but you didn’t send the Brooklyn note you speak of. What was it about?3

I am getting my lecture in better shape, now. I end it with the poetry, every time, & a description of Artemus’s death in a foreign land.4

Mighty glad to hear old Twichell is back. I want to hear him howl about the for “strange, strange lands beyond the sea.”5

Confound the confounded cooks. Offer five dollars & a week, & see if that won’t fetch one. Advertise again.

I don’t get a chance to read anything, my old darling—am patching at my lecture all the time—trying to weed Artemus out of it & work myself in. What I say, fetches ’em—but what he says, don’t. But I’m going to mark Lowell for you—pity, too, to mar such dainty pages.6

Bless your heart, I appreciate the cubbie—& shall, more & more as he develops & becomes vicious & interesting. To me he is a very very dear little rip. Kiss him for me, sweetheart. I have ordered the song book7 for him.

Since I wrote that last sentence, I have been studying the railway guide an hour, my dearie, & I think I can reach home some time Saturday afternoon or evening, & stay till after midnight, & then go on to New York, where I can rest all day Sunday & half of Monday—or possibly there may be a daylight train on Sunday from Hartford to New York.8 I’ll find out. I want to see my darling I do assure you.

Sleepy!

Lovingly

Samℓ.

Love9 to Mr. & C.e.

[in ink:] Mrs. Samℓ. L. Clemens | Cor. Forest & Hawthorne | Hartford | Conn [postmarked:] haverhill mass. nov 16

Explanatory Notes

Editorial Signs

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1 “Some thought it good, others dubbed it ‘Small potatoes,’” the Haverhill Bulletin remarked on 16 November. “Mark don’t care whether he sells small or large potatoes so long as he sells them well, which he does” (excerpted in Fatout 1960, 158–59).

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2 The Hartford Times had reported an incident that occurred at Clemens’s 8 November Hartford lecture, after his humorous introductory remarks:

He then produced a most wretchedly torn handkerchief, which he shook out so as fully to display its state of dilapidation, and remarked, “I didn’t mean to bring that here; it belongs to General Hawley.” This remark was also received with laughter. (“The Institute Lectures,” 9 Nov 71, 2)

Probably at Clemens’s request, Hartford Courant associate editor Charles Dudley Warner hastened into print with “Not a Stage Trick”:

An embarrassing incident happened at the opening of Mark Twain’s lecture Wednesday evening. Just as the lecturer began, he took from his pocket a dilapidated piece of linen instead of a handkerchief. The audience laughed, and Mr. Clemens, after a moment’s annoyance, turned the matter off with a joke. It was only an accident, resulting from a servant’s putting some old linen into the drawer where Mr. Clemens was trustingly taught to expect to find his handkerchiefs, and it might have happened to Edward Everett himself. We only refer to it because we hear that some of the audience regarded it as an arranged joke. Mr. Clemens likes a joke as well as anybody, but he is the last man to attempt a cheap trick of that sort. (10 Nov 71, 2)

Warner’s correction, which has not been found in Boston papers, did not neutralize the handkerchief incident. The Boston Journal reported on 14 November:

—Mark Twain, at his lecture in Hartford the other evening, took from his pocket a dilapidated piece of linen instead of a handkerchief. The audience tittered, and Mark probably curtain lectured Mrs. Clemens when he got home. (“Current Notes,” 4)

Similar items appeared in the Buffalo Courier of 20 November (“Personal,” 1), the Cleveland Leader of 21 November (“Gossip,” 1), and the Danville (Ill.) Commercial of 30 November, which noted, with malicious inaccuracy: “This accident has already happened to Mark twenty-three times at his lectures” (“Mark Twain met . . . ,” 1).

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3 As the next letter indicates, the Brooklyn note soon arrived.

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4 Ward died of pulmonary tuberculosis in Southampton on 6 March 1867, his delicate health having failed under the strain of a demanding London lecture schedule and the accompanying conviviality (Pullen, 157–61). As late as 8 November, Clemens had ended his talk with a humorous anecdote (“The Institute Lectures,” Hartford Times, 9 Nov 71, 2). Over the next week he made the change to a eulogy, reciting James Rhoades’s poem “Artemus Ward,” originally published in the London Spectator on 16 March 1867 (40:295–96) and then reprinted in Littell’s Living Age on 20 April (5:177), which was Clemens’s source. His touching rendition of the verses was frequently mentioned in reviews (for example: “Artemus Ward,” Portland {Maine} Eastern Argus, 17 Nov 71, 3; “Mark Twain on Artemus Ward,” Albany Evening Journal, 29 Nov 71, 2; “Mark Twain,” Erie {Pa.} Observer, 14 Dec 71, 3).

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5 The quotation is unidentified. Twichell had arrived in New York from Liverpool aboard the Atlantic on 9 November, but did not return to Hartford until 14 or 15 November (New York Evening Express: “Express Marine List,” 9 Nov 71, 3; “Passengers Arrived,” 10 Nov 71, 4; Lilly G. Warner to George Warner, 13 Nov 71, CU-MARK; Hartford Courant: “Hartford Personals,” 13 Nov 71, 2; “Brief Mention,” 15 Nov 71, 2).

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6 Probably the “Diamond Edition” of The Poetical Works of James Russell Lowell, published by James R. Osgood and Company, of Boston, in 1871 (Gribben, 1:426–27).

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7 Unidentified.

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8 This itinerary was for Friday night, 17 November, through Monday, 20 November—between Clemens’s lectures on those dates in Lowell (Massachusetts), and Philadelphia. Apparently he reached Hartford as planned. He spent Sunday at home and probably took a Monday morning train to New York to make connections for Philadelphia (“Railroad Time Tables,” Hartford Courant, 18 Nov 71, 4; 20 Nov 71 to Howland; 27 Nov 71 to OLC, n. 1).

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9 The abbreviations stood for Mother (Olivia Lewis Langdon) and Cubbie.

Description of Texts and Provenance

Source text(s):

MS, Mark Twain Papers, The Bancroft Library, University of California, Berkeley (CU-MARK).

Previous publication: L4, 491–493; Wecter 1948, 84, with omission; LLMT, 163–64.

Provenance:see Samossoud Collection in Description of Provenance.